off to TO

so tomorrow, i'm on a train to toronto. i'm going to meet up with marc for lunch and then sven for an afternoon of meandering.

i met sven on a train from montreal to toronto that fateful thanksgiving day. we got to talking only 30 minutes before we arrived in toronto. i was in a lousy mood and he wanted to practice is english. we waited for his train together and that was fine. he was pretty good at telling me about himself and he asked me questions too.

he's my age. he's from germany. he did his undergrad at an university in berlin. he's a bio-engineer. he lives up in waterloo. we decided when we left the train station that we would meet up in toronto and so we've managed to keep in touch and we're doing just that.

so hopefully it'll be a nice relaxing weekend in toronto. can't wait to finally eat some chinese food.

toodles.

felt badly there for a while

so up until sunday, when i talked to my family, i was feeling really low. i felt like everything was going bad to worse and i took everything personally. in that state, everything is blown out of proportion.

saturday morning was fine and then i headed out to mohawk college to work out with natasha. she's going to meet me there at 2 so i get on the 1 o'clock bus. it's all good. get to the terminal and find out that then next bus doesn't actually leave the terminal until 2 to get to the school at 2:15. brilliant. it was blustery and cold so i just....waited.

got there and worked out for an hour and a half. pulled a lot of muscles because all the weight machines were in between the weights that i usually lift. women gym's are better with the in between free weights. anywho, get on the bus at 4:15 and get to the terminal at 4:30. the bus to my house doesn't come for another half hour so i opt to take a bus part way and walk 25 minutes home. i still beat the bus. stupid buses.

sunday wasn't any better. i opted to walk to church again and instead of turning left along the trail, i turned right to see if there was a faster route to get there. so the trail's all lined with foresty type stuff. so i see a path cutting across the trail that leads into the trees in the direction of the church so i take it....5 minutes later and damp grass and muddy puddles, i come to a dead end and back track. i was wearing my beautiful white runners but but but....muddy puddle. big frown on my face. =0(

pas grand chose.

in the evening, after dinner, tom and tammy go out to a meeting at the church. sara, their oldest is going to take care of the kids and the dog. about an hour after they leave, i go into my kitchen area and find my flip flops chewed to bits by the dog. i was so mad. so so mad. they were my beautiful yellow green "guess" flip flops. i wore them all summer and i loved them. i was sooo mad. i pick up all the bits and the flip flops and i throw them into the garbage can under the sink and slam the cupboard door. i was mad. tom and tammy offered to pay for them but i told them it was ok. i was over it.

so, money or rather lack there of... the student loan people didn't get the papers in time so they took out another payment which leaves me with close to no money to spend. i was pained by this because i thought i had enough. but nooo.

after talking to my family, which lightened my mood, my sister convinced me to cash the extra cheque i had and told me to go and have fun in quebec city later this week. yay. so i did and i almost felt like crying because well, that's a pretty big deal. i love and miss my family.

so monday was fine and today was fine too. everything as expected. had a great talk with one of my classmates. i got off early today and went to the mall to get a few things for my trip. i walked around the mall with my long cane and i practiced my touch technique and it was great seeing people part ways for me to pass or hold doors or let me on the bus first. it was pretty funny.

anyway, i have a test tomorrow. got to do some prep.

frustrated

this has been a week of constant frustration.

this morning i arrive at school at 8 am. i woke up 6 got on the bus at 7. so i enter the classroom and what should i see? but the instructor for the afternoon low vision course that i have been exempt from setting up her stupid little lcd projector. i was so pissed. wtf? the course is 2 hours long. i could have slept for another 2 hours. damn it. so know i have to do dick all. i'm so severely pissed that i am to the point of tears. i sat outside the room for an hour and now i'm writing my blog. i'm pissed because i was hoping to be out of this hell hole by lunch because, well, i didn't bring my lunch. so now what? damn. thank goodness, deanne gave me a copy of her people magazine because i would have just left and not come back.

i don't know how much more of this i can take.

so on wednesday night i find out that ed's going to pick me up at 630 at mohawk college but because of the bus schedule, the earliest i could get there was at 645. (on thursday we had to head into toronto to visit agencies that work with people with visual impairments). so i decided to take natasha up on her offer for a sleepover because then we could walk up to the college and meet up. that, and we wouldn't have to wake up as early, or so i thought. i call a dial-a-bus to pick me up and the way that works is, you call it and they give you a half hour time span to stand there and wait for them. so the bus that they told me to wait for was quarter to 9 to quarter after 9. it's cold but i'm waiting and waiting. all the while, tammy goes to pick her kids up and when she gets back, i'm still waiting for the bus, and she's like "you could have asked for a ride". great, thanks. that's what i want to hear. like that was ever an option. (roll of eyes) so the bus finally gets there and i ride down to the terminal and i have to wait another 20 minutes for the next bus to come. i tell the bus driver that i want to go to fourth and colborne and he didn't know where that was. and so he told me to get off at a stop two streets over from fourth so i'm like, no problem. i walk and walk. up fourth, but i couldn't find nat's house. turned out it was forest and not fourth and that i had gotten it wrong. after walking 7 blocks in the dark neighborhood i called nat on my cell and found on the map where i needed to be so... i walk down to her place. it was fine. she was all worried about the dark but i was pretty confident about my safety. nat and christine came out to meet me on colbourne and they brought me back to their place. we chatted into the wee hours and it was fun. we went to bed at 1230.

so i wake up at 500. too early. had half a can of chunky soup for breakfast and make a cup of tea.
we had 3 places to visit and we had to be there by 830. so we got picked up at 645 and the traffic was dire. one way this and that, don't turn this way or this way. so we were hooped. we were the last people to arrive but to no real fault of our own. the place was a great place for preschool kids with visual impairments. but the session didn't have to be 3 hours long. after a while it just dragged.

went to lunch at the pickle barn (great jewish deli restaurant) and had some ice cream afterwards. we visited two other places but after the second one it was pretty much downhill. i was bored and it was hot in the house. the person guiding the tour around the house was...well, condescending and not all together interesting. there wasn't much to see. it was a house with some adaptations made to it. it wasn't interesting.

we drove back to brantford. it took us 2.5 hours to get back. there were so many stop and gos it was brutal but the conversation was good so that was all right.

i hear this morning from nat that ed's not coming to school today because of his gut. we were just talking about it yesterday and he was pleased with how it was going. but because we drove from 530-8, he didn't stop to take his pill because we didn't stop for dinner. (sigh) so now he's out another friday.

tuesday and wednesday were brutal days only because not only were we learning new skills for but our instructor decided that it would be beneficial if we criticized each other to point out the error of our ways. not a great idea. we were nit picky and not everything said was constructive. we had no structure for it so we just went to town on each other. i believe that peer criticism has a place and it's a valuable form of feedback. but i was so annoyed. i seriously didn't take it well at all. they were saying things that i knew but didn't have time to correct because of the flurry of criticism coming at me. i was unforgiving in my criticism too. i felt attacked and i wanted to hit back. it was pretty fierce. i hated it. i wrote it in my daily journal that i submit to the instructor so hopefully she'll get wise to it.

so everything seems to annoy the hell out of me and i'm not at all happy. i must be pmsing because i'm depressed. (sigh)

everything seems to be going happy happy for everyone and i'm the one stuck. i feel stuck. i've had better days and i will have better days. as for now, i just want to be left alone.