frustrated

this has been a week of constant frustration.

this morning i arrive at school at 8 am. i woke up 6 got on the bus at 7. so i enter the classroom and what should i see? but the instructor for the afternoon low vision course that i have been exempt from setting up her stupid little lcd projector. i was so pissed. wtf? the course is 2 hours long. i could have slept for another 2 hours. damn it. so know i have to do dick all. i'm so severely pissed that i am to the point of tears. i sat outside the room for an hour and now i'm writing my blog. i'm pissed because i was hoping to be out of this hell hole by lunch because, well, i didn't bring my lunch. so now what? damn. thank goodness, deanne gave me a copy of her people magazine because i would have just left and not come back.

i don't know how much more of this i can take.

so on wednesday night i find out that ed's going to pick me up at 630 at mohawk college but because of the bus schedule, the earliest i could get there was at 645. (on thursday we had to head into toronto to visit agencies that work with people with visual impairments). so i decided to take natasha up on her offer for a sleepover because then we could walk up to the college and meet up. that, and we wouldn't have to wake up as early, or so i thought. i call a dial-a-bus to pick me up and the way that works is, you call it and they give you a half hour time span to stand there and wait for them. so the bus that they told me to wait for was quarter to 9 to quarter after 9. it's cold but i'm waiting and waiting. all the while, tammy goes to pick her kids up and when she gets back, i'm still waiting for the bus, and she's like "you could have asked for a ride". great, thanks. that's what i want to hear. like that was ever an option. (roll of eyes) so the bus finally gets there and i ride down to the terminal and i have to wait another 20 minutes for the next bus to come. i tell the bus driver that i want to go to fourth and colborne and he didn't know where that was. and so he told me to get off at a stop two streets over from fourth so i'm like, no problem. i walk and walk. up fourth, but i couldn't find nat's house. turned out it was forest and not fourth and that i had gotten it wrong. after walking 7 blocks in the dark neighborhood i called nat on my cell and found on the map where i needed to be so... i walk down to her place. it was fine. she was all worried about the dark but i was pretty confident about my safety. nat and christine came out to meet me on colbourne and they brought me back to their place. we chatted into the wee hours and it was fun. we went to bed at 1230.

so i wake up at 500. too early. had half a can of chunky soup for breakfast and make a cup of tea.
we had 3 places to visit and we had to be there by 830. so we got picked up at 645 and the traffic was dire. one way this and that, don't turn this way or this way. so we were hooped. we were the last people to arrive but to no real fault of our own. the place was a great place for preschool kids with visual impairments. but the session didn't have to be 3 hours long. after a while it just dragged.

went to lunch at the pickle barn (great jewish deli restaurant) and had some ice cream afterwards. we visited two other places but after the second one it was pretty much downhill. i was bored and it was hot in the house. the person guiding the tour around the house was...well, condescending and not all together interesting. there wasn't much to see. it was a house with some adaptations made to it. it wasn't interesting.

we drove back to brantford. it took us 2.5 hours to get back. there were so many stop and gos it was brutal but the conversation was good so that was all right.

i hear this morning from nat that ed's not coming to school today because of his gut. we were just talking about it yesterday and he was pleased with how it was going. but because we drove from 530-8, he didn't stop to take his pill because we didn't stop for dinner. (sigh) so now he's out another friday.

tuesday and wednesday were brutal days only because not only were we learning new skills for but our instructor decided that it would be beneficial if we criticized each other to point out the error of our ways. not a great idea. we were nit picky and not everything said was constructive. we had no structure for it so we just went to town on each other. i believe that peer criticism has a place and it's a valuable form of feedback. but i was so annoyed. i seriously didn't take it well at all. they were saying things that i knew but didn't have time to correct because of the flurry of criticism coming at me. i was unforgiving in my criticism too. i felt attacked and i wanted to hit back. it was pretty fierce. i hated it. i wrote it in my daily journal that i submit to the instructor so hopefully she'll get wise to it.

so everything seems to annoy the hell out of me and i'm not at all happy. i must be pmsing because i'm depressed. (sigh)

everything seems to be going happy happy for everyone and i'm the one stuck. i feel stuck. i've had better days and i will have better days. as for now, i just want to be left alone.